Hi! Today I want to talk to you all about striving for perfection and how that affects us, as parents and our children. In case you didn't know, I talk a lot about practical life skills over on my Instagram, as well as here, on my blog. If there is anything you would like to know, or get advice on, please leave a comment under this article, or send me a Direct Message on Instagram. I hope you enjoy reading.
I often hear parents say that they don't want to teach their kids how to cook because they aren't that good cooks themselves. Or that they do not allow their kids to clean because a toddler or a preschooler will never do it perfectly.
And that's the problem. We expect ourselves never to make mistakes and our kids to master skills without even having a chance to learn them. Or we never even try to teach them some practical life skills, because it either seems too hard, or we are afraid that we won't be able to come up with millions of activities every week.
That's not how it works. Your home is not a classroom, and you don't need to have 20 shelves with new activities on them every week. It is enough that when you water your plants, you invite your child to help you. Or when you are sorting the laundry, you sit your child next to you and explain that black clothes can not be washed with white clothes, or white with red.
Then the next day, or next week, they help you put the laundry away. You don't have to worry about having a strict plan, or activity schedule. You can just observe your child, see what they would like to learn, and invite them to help you. You don't need any special equipment. You don't need to invest any money at all, all it requires is a little bit of patience and consistency.
Last year, I suddenly got very sick. It was just before the coronavirus officially hit the UK, and I was pretty much lifeless for 2 weeks straight. I never experienced anything like it before. One day, I needed to finally do the laundry, and Kian saw me trying to sort it and carry it to the washing machine. I struggled a lot. He stopped me, he took that dirty laundry, he put it into the machine, he put the powder and softener in, and he started the washing machine all by himself. And when the clothes were clean, he emptied the washing machine and helped me to hang them. He was only 3 years old. And even though for some people this may seem not very important, for me that day it meant everything.
So what if your child doesn't vacuum properly under the table or doesn't fold the clothes perfectly? Let them do it once a week or once a month, and by the time they turn 18, they will be masters. These skills are crucial for life. Nothing annoys me more than parents expecting their kids to know how to adult the moment they turn 18, like if having an ID card was going to magically teach them how to budget the finances, cook, clean, apply for jobs, and repair their car. It's our job. And it's not scary or difficult at all. I promise.
That's all for today. Please let me know what is your experience, did your parents teach you any practical life skills? Did you start your adult life with confidence? Are you struggling with perfectionism? If so, how does it affect your role as a parent? I am really curious. Thanks for your time x
Gosia
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