Thursday, 20 April 2017

Choosing a Birth Partner


There are moments in life when you want to be alone. You don't want people to watch you devour a bowl of pasta after a long drive home. You don't want them to see you furtively bleaching your moustache in the bathroom.


Why would you invite somebody to a labour ward then?

Well, he can be helpful. You will need an extra pair of hands when looking for that hair band which WAS in your makeup bag, he can help you change into a t-shirt for the labour. He can serve you water when you need it. He can listen to your complaints. He can massage you. Finally, you may want to share the most precious moments with him.


Who to invite?

Pick a responsible, strong and cool-headed person. Somebody who can handle stress well and is OK with high temperatures. Somebody who can deal with a sleepless night.
Select a person who knows when to talk and what to say and when to stay quiet. Somebody you trust and feel comfortable with. This person will see everything. You need to be confident that he/ she will not broadcast your labour on Snapchat. A person who is scared of blood and needles may not be an ideal candidate.

Remember, do not invite a drama queen or crazy attention seeker. You can not worry about your partner during labour. They are in a delivery room to help you.

Does he/ she want to be your birth partner? 

Let's be honest. Nobody wants to see his loved ones racked with pain, bleeding, ugly, sweaty and screaming their heads off. Especially when  he can not take their pain away. Do not force anybody to share this experience with you. Kindly offer it to the chosen person, but let them decide.
Some will find the labour the most beautiful scene ever, but for some, it will be off-putting or even traumatic. 

I invited my partner to a labour room. He was very helpful. He laughed a lot when I felt drunk with Gas & Air. He was very calm and brave. I felt supported in the worse moments. I saw the pride in his eyes. He made me stronger
Baby, this post is for you- thank you for being there with me! I love you x



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23 comments

  1. It is hard to know how someone will react in a labour ward until the event. I would never have chosen anyone else other then my hubby and he was fab too

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    1. aww glad to hear he did so well! I agree with you, seeing woman in such a pain may break the strongest of men.

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  2. My husband was with my for the birth of my two boys and considering how much he hates blood and gets easily distracted, I've told him that if we have a third baby I'm going in there solo!

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    1. Totally understand. The good thing is that you both tried. It is great to know you can handle the labour without him, it proves how strong you are <3

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  3. My hubbie was with me for the birth of our daughter. I'm not sure I would feel comfortable with a friend there x

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    1. Agreed, I wouldn't be comfortable with anybody else but my partner x

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  4. Really interesting post this. It's not something I've had to go through but this post shows how important it is to choose the right partner.

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    1. It is indeed one of the most important baby-related decisions :) Thanks for reading and commenting! x

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  5. Great advice here for future mums! I think someone that can be calm and supportive sounds like a good idea!!

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    1. Absolutely, it is good to have somebdoy to support you, but also to share this amazing experience with x

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  6. I had my partner and a doula when I gave birth to my daughter - it was an amazing dynamic having the both of them and I think as my partner was a bit lost as sea with the intensity of the whole thing it was great to have somewhere else there.

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    1. I love doulas! I am happy that there are some women out there who want to (and know how) to professionally support the families during labour. Thanks for commenting :)

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  7. Very interesting post, I am sure this is useful for many mums and dads to be x

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    1. Thank you, Melanie! have a wonderful day x

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  8. Love the post. My husband was my birth partner. He handled it all pretty well.

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    1. Awesome! I am glad that more and more fathers decides to join their women in the delivery room x

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  9. My hubby was my birth partner too and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there. He was a rock and took on the medical professionals and questioned them tactfully to ensure our son was delivered safely.

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  10. What a lovely post and tribute to your partner. Having a good birthing partner can make all the difference.

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    1. Absolutely! Thank you for reading and commenting x

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  11. I agree it is so important, you are at your most vulnerable so you need a very important person. I would have only chosen my husband as he know just what I want and understands my funny ways!

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  12. Having a supportive, patient and understanding birth partner is so important for labour. It sounds like you picked a great person for yours :)

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    1. I surely did :) Thanks for reading and commenting, Zena! :) x

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