Thursday, 31 August 2017

Happy HNB- meeting my High Need Baby, lack of sleep and our first month together

Hi. Welcome to the world of a mother of a super high need baby. The fastest, the least tired, the most alert baby ever. The crawling happiness and my best friend.

Who is a High Need Baby? It is a baby that may be considered 'difficult' by others. One who demands constant attention, who is never tired and likes to hang out on the boob for hours and hours. Baby, who doesn't need much sleep. But you know what? These kids are incredible! They don't just smile from far away, patiently waiting for cuddles. They wake up and say: Hello! I am here. Appreciate me.


Our first meeting was quite shocking. I thought my son would be exhausted after the labour and sleep most of the time. Trust me, we were the loudest family in the postnatal room. Sometimes I cried when my son cried. Other kids were asleep, and their mums couldn't get them to wake up for feed. Mine would never sleep. He needed me non-stop. I was a patient myself, attached to a disgusting drop (which was broken and I had to keep my hand in a funny position in order to make it work). Plus, the beginning of breastfeeding was difficult. If you know how to latch the baby straight away-praise the Lord!
I had bleeding nipples and a baby on the boob for 24/7. It was difficult. During the first month, I was feeding my son for about 20h a day. With short breaks for a nappy change, bath or a quick walk in the park. It is normal. It's called the 4th trimester. But everybody around me was constantly making me feel like there was something wrong with my baby or that I simply couldn't cope with motherhood. 
The zero sleep thing was shocking. I was surprised that a baby who just arrived in crazy, unknown world is not tired!

Happy HNB is a new series on my blog! Check back for a new post every Thursday at 6 PM UK time! :) 


We came back home, where a beautiful and cozy Moses basket was ready to go. But Kian just wouldn't sleep in it! He would wake up every 3-15 minutes. As I could not keep my eyes open anymore, I gave up on this idea and we started co-sleeping (it is amazing, but remember to stick to the safety rules).
I wanted to be one of the cool mums, so I bought all kinds of wraps and baby sleeping bags in gorgeous prints. He hated all of them. 

How did I survive the first month?
first of all, I gave up everything to look after my son. You may say I'm crazy (I know, I know- 'happy mother is happy baby'). After I left the hospital, I stopped getting upset that I can not plan/ control the day. I acknowledged that this is how my life will look like for the next 2-3 months. And I started to learn my baby's language, rather than trying to get a newborn to understand mine. 
This was a happy moment for me. Even though to others I looked like I have fought in MMA (the mad combination of zero sleep, huge responsibility, pressure and bleeding nipples did not make me look cute at all 😀).
I concentrated as much as possible on comforting Kian with breastfeeding. Because mum's breast is much more than just food. It is baby's safety, comfort and happiness. 

Since we were glued to each other for over 20h a day, we developed not only the most beautiful love but an amazing friendship, too! We created a strong unbreakable bond, that will last forever. He knows that I will never let him down and I 'll comfort him in any pain. It is so rewarding! 

In the past year, I have heard from many people that Kian is the happiest child they have ever seen. I could not be more grateful for having him in my life.

Growing up a High Need Baby can be very difficult if you try to change his nature. You have to acknowledge that you are your child's whole world. 
Remember, that one of the worst things you can do to your baby is to follow the infamous 'cry it out method'. You can read more about the heartbreaking consequences of this torture-training here. 

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